It Gives Away Your Power
The moment we let our joy depend on the validation by what others think, we give away the power over our emotional states. With this attitude, it feels exhilarating when people fancy us. But when they don’t, we become sad and angry. We have given control of our happiness to the whims of those we try to impress.
It’s Beyond Your Control
The problem with worry is that our minds try to control the uncontrollable. People’s opinions are ultimately not up to us, so there isn’t much we can do to stop them from disliking us.
It’s a Reflection of Them, Not You
Often, how people react to us directly reflects themselves and how they feel.
Projection
Unconscious discomfort can lead people to attribute unacceptable feelings or impulses to someone else to avoid confronting them. Projection allows the difficult trait to be addressed without the individual fully recognizing it in themselves.
Seeing the World Through a Unique Lens
We all see the world through a unique lens, and the unconscious plays a significant role in how we relate to our environment. Knowing this, we can put the opinions of other people into perspective.
You’re Not the Center of the Universe
When we try to imagine the vastness of the universe, we begin to understand the insignificance of ourselves.
Solipsism
If your mind is indeed the only mind in existence, other people’s opinions are nothing but illusions. Thus, nothing to make a fuss about, as they aren’t real.
It Destroys Authenticity
Care too much about what others think, and you’ll turn into a sheep anxiously following the rest of the flock.
Herd Mentality
Those with a slave morality want others to be at their level, namely, among the other obedient, mediocre, and uniform members of the herd.
Conformity
Within the pack, conformity is a virtue, and authenticity is a threat.
Life Is Too Short
A survey revealed that, on average, Brits spend about 6,5 years of their lives worrying. If they’d simply stop worrying about other people, then they’d have about two additional years to enjoy life.
You Know Yourself Best
Even though other people can give you valuable outside perspectives concerning your behavior, the person most knowledgeable about you is you.
Jung’s Model of the Psyche
Carl Jung differentiates several parts of the psyche, including the persona – what we show to the world – which is just a thin layer of the self.
Persona vs True Self of What Others Think
Some people can be pretty intuitive and see through the cracks of our masks; moreover, they can notice behaviors about us that we aren’t even aware of. But they can never be sure about our true motives, secrets, and hidden personality traits because these are reserved for ourselves only.
Key Takeaways
Don’t give away your power to others. Focus on what you can control. People often project their issues onto others. In the grand scheme of things, individual opinions don’t matter much. Authenticity leads to self-actualization. Life is fleeting – don’t waste it worrying. You know yourself better than anyone else does.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is worrying about others’ opinions harmful?
It gives away your power, tries to control the uncontrollable, and wastes the little time we have in life.
Do other people really know you better than yourself?
No, you have access to aspects of yourself that others don’t, like your true motives and secrets.
How can I stop worrying about what people think?
Remember that you can’t control it, focus on living authentically, and realize most people are too busy thinking about themselves.
Isn’t conformity sometimes necessary?
Yes, but blind conformity destroys self-actualization. The goal is to find a balance between the two.
If life is short, why does it matter what I do?
Exactly – life is too short to waste time worrying about unimportant things like others’ opinions. Live authentically instead.
